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Los Angeles, California

This city is a monument to bad taste and vain, but I couldn't tear myself away so I can't complain

Of all the many tourist attractions in Southern California (and there are a lot of tourist attractions in Southern California), it's still pretty hard to find an experience that is better than the Warner Brothers Studio Tour. First of all the crowds are small (it's a far, far smaller tour operation than you might think) and second (and this is the big one), unlike, say, Universal, the Warner Brothers Studio is a working studio first and a tourist attraction last. As you see the backlots and the practical sets and the soundstages you get a real sense of the practice and art of film making in a way that can just be damn fascinating. I (still) can't recommend this enough.

And in case you somehow didn't recognize the car in the first picture, it is the back side of the Dukes of Hazzard very own General Lee, although noticeably the big Confederate battle flag on its roof is covered over with a thin orange cover, either specifically to protect it for future use or specifically to piss off racists- it's hard to tell. And of course the other picture is the set from some big tv show that everyone else watches.

Another tourist attraction (I am undeniably a tourist, despite the fact that I vainly like to think that I think like a local) is the permanently docked Queen Mary, still straight from Long Beach. The ship is actually far more interesting than I thought it might be, especially the lower decks and engine room, where the giant mechanical ship comes to life and a special walkway even passes through the steel hull to see one of the propellers up close. And while all of that is easily the most compelling part of the Queen Mary, I still chose an above deck view for the slideshow, where a distant Long Beach glistens under a seemingly always perfect California sun.

You really can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood Boulevard, some that you recognize, some that you hardly even heard of. And in front of the Chinese Theatre you really can look at footprints and signatures in the concrete and (when you get to a certain spot) you really can wonder what in the hell is going on with Tom Cruise. I mean just take an objective look at that signature and try and find all of the letters. The T looks like a J or even an F, the C is all over the M and I'm not sure if he technically spelled his last name right, it kind of looks like Gwise to me.

Unlike almost every other trip in this slideshow, this trip out to California was personal, specifically it was part of a tradition, an annual trip where I take my father out to see an out of state hockey game for his birthday. So to kill time before one of the games (and to avoid a rather noisy and unfocused anti-everything protest going on outside) we stopped by the Madame Tussauds on Hollywood Boulevard. The most impressive thing about wax museums (for me at least) is to see scale, to understand how tiny or abnormally tall various famous people may or may not be, even if their wax replica isn't exactly always spot on in terms of likeness.

I took advantage of the NHL schedule and took my father to two hockey games, both against the hapless Islanders (sorry Islanders fans). The first game was at the Honda Center (where the local Anaheim Ducks play) and the second was at downtown's Staples Center (where the local Los Angeles Kings play). Of the two games, the first game was a far better one- the Islanders were competitive, the Ducks came back to tie and then win in overtime. The game at the Staples Center was kind of boring, with neither team playing their best and everyone (myself included) just seeming kind of sleepy. And while the better game was in Anaheim, the better arena and stadium was most definitely the Staples Center, one of my favorite arenas, at least for hockey. Staples Center has a better design, better food, a better location and more excitement. For an local comparison, it is sort of like comparing Nassau Coliseum (sorry Islanders fans) to Madison Square Garden.

And while both arenas and games were different, they did have one thing in common. Both featured roving remote controlled blimps that hovered between periods and dropped useless coupons on the crowds. Even though Staples Center beat Honda Center in most every way, with the blimps it was a rare win for the Ducks. In Anaheim the blimp was dressed up like a giant sheep that floated above and seemed to poop out Serta coupons. Surreal in every way imaginable.

And since we're on the subject of hockey, this is a street poster in the wonderfully small provincial city (or possibly large provincial town) of Trois-Rivieres, Quebec, where the beloved Canadiens were still facing the hated Pingouins. Montreal was lucky enough to advance past Pittsburgh before eventually and sadly falling to to the Stanley Cup losing Flyers (or incorrectly the Stanley Cup losing Insectes, at least according to Babelfish). Go Habs Go.

Coming up next: Speedwalk to work, corporate slaves!!!