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Osaka, Japan
As futures go, well this one it seems fine
No matter how you do it. it always seems to take a long time to get to Japan. After your killer long flight (in this case, mine was only a few hours, more about that later), you find yourself landing during a beautiful sunset at Kansai, an artificial island right in the middle of the bay. After you land, it was (this time) a reasonably quick check through Japanese customs, a reasonably quick stop at an ATM to stock up on some Yen, and then a reasonably quick walk to the Nankai ticket machines for a reasonably quick 40 minute ride to Namba.
The Nankai Express train proves that getting there is half the fun, it’s a a retro futuristic train that is somewhere between super weird and super cool. The trains are branded as Rapi:t, they have oval cutout windows, a super fun engine and a superhero mascot named Rapi:tldier who has a fantastically detailed backstory. He was created by Doctor H of the Osaka Secret Police to battle a bug like goblin named Gokibler, who kidnapped a pop star named Yumi in downtown Osaka, made her his slave and took her, along with his carry on luggage, to escape to Kansai Airport. Luckily our superhero protector who was “born to protect the peace of Osaka” took the Rapi:t train instead of a local train like that god awful Gokibler did and, following an epic confrontation at the airport train station, saved us all. Thank you Rapi:tldier.
Now that we’re safe from Gokibler, we’re finally free to explore Osaka and luckily Osaka is ready for us. The city offers something called an Osaka Amazing Pass, a really good deal that includes tickets to (almost) everything you want to see as well as a subway pass to get you there. After getting my pass at Namba Station, I took the Midosuji line to here, the Umeda Sky Building, where these flying escalators led right up to the Fun Floor, although these escalators up were pretty fun too.
The Umeda Sky Building has indoor and outdoor observation decks, and while the view of the unending city is quite good, it’s still a better view looking at the building than looking from the building.
My second observation deck of the day was much higher. Harukas 300 has a better view and a terrific two tiered observation deck. You start at the top level, which looks both down to the city and down to the open courtyard sky garden, which is a great place to kill time, stare at the city and drink a blue drink that you’re still not quite sure what was.
The all observation deck all the time slideshow marches on with our third consecutive tower. This time we’re at Shinsekai to visit the Tsutenkaku Tower, an old school, super busy observation deck with huge lines. Some of those people were on line to take a slide that runs down the lower 20 percent of the tower (I was not), but even the observation deck upstairs was packed at 1pm on a Thursday.
Included in my Amazing Osaka Pass were a few ferris wheels, but the only one I actually was able to get to was this one at HepFive, a great big red one attached to a mall attached to a train station.
I love Osaka, and I love observation decks and things like great big ferris wheels attached to malls attached to train stations, so it hurts me a little bit to speak the truth that, after visiting four points with great views over Osaka on a clear September day, it is hard not to admit that Osaka just isn’t all that interesting from above. I think deep down even Rapi:tldier himself knows this, and maybe that’s why each of these observation decks (or conveyance in this case) is interesting enough on its own to easily justify a visit. Maybe that’s why the Umeda Sky Building has that great big hole and those awesome flying escalators, or why Harukas 300 has that sky garden in it, or why the Tsutenkaku Tower is all gold inside, or why the wheel at HepFive is all red.
Even though it may be out of character, I did actually visit places that didn’t have an observation deck, although this wasn’t one of them. This is Osaka Castle, surrounded by a moat and gardens with a museum and top level observation deck inside. There are small boats that take you out on parts of the moat and a little tram/tourist train that takes you around parts of the gardens. After the little tourist train passed, I heard an English speaking tourist behind me complain that “this whole country is like a damn amusement park,” something they said quite derisively but something I might have said, without irony, as high praise. The fun mascots, the Godzilla store, that little tourist train, Rapi:tldier, these are all the things that make me love Osaka and are one of the many reasons that I love going to Japan.
We’re finally free from observation deck mania and we’re on the streets, where that (presumably) awful English speaking tourist at the Osaka Castle gardens would probably have more to whine about. Osaka as a city is known for its food, and its most famous food is takoyaki or octopus balls (to clarify, octopus balls are ball shaped dumplings with octopus meat inside and not, well, the balls of an octopus). There are a lot of places that sell takoyaki, and a lot of awesome and fun octopus signage throughout the city, including (but most certainly not limited) to these.
Namba Station and my hotel were right in the center of Dotonbori, an area with a chaotic feel, lots of people, fun signage, a canal and (of course) the world famous Glico running man. If you’re one of the few people in the world who are unfamiliar with the world famous Glico running man, he’s a corporate icon representing a Japanese candy company and the sign has been here since 1935. If, like me, you’re immediately noticing that the world famous Glico running man sign looks awfully advanced for 1935 technology, you would have a point. While the world famous Glico running man has been there 88 years, the sign has been updated six times, and, as far as I can tell, all this time the world famous Glico running man keeps running and running and running, never reaching his destination. That must be some very powerful candy he ate in 1935.
It feels like we just got to Osaka and already it’s time to leave. Before we get back on that Rapi:t train (no reason to risk taking a local one and end up captured by the bug goblin Gokibler), we have one last stop at the botanical gardens in Nagai where a walk through a nighttime art installation by teamLab awaits. There are multiple installations throughout the gardens with names like Sculptures of Dissipative Birds in the Wind and Pillars that Dance with the Wind and Resonating Microcosms Solidified Light Color. And while I’m sure all of the installations contain deeper meanings, I honestly just enjoyed them for once for what they were.
Goodnight dissipative birds. Goodnight resonating microcosms. Goodnight Rapi:tldier. Goodnight Osaka. We’ll see you again soon.
